Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
