Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize