just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
