I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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