Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
