Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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