she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
