I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
