sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
