cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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