allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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