He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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