i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
