Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Let's get the cat blown out
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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