Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just googled if crying burns calories
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
