Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
