For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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