So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
