Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
