Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
