my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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