I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
