There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
