people are starting to question the shark bite story
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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