New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He shit in the fireplace
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
