'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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