If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
