direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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