Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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