i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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