Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
