As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
