last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
