somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
