Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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