You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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