i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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