the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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