If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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