I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Randomize
