okay pat passed out under dana's car
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
