So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
