just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
