Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
