Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize