we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
