Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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