Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
