I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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