I'm really into asian looking animals
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
