3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
