She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
