I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
