I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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