True but thats because hes a fetus.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
