I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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