Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
