Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
