I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
