my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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