dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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