I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
