I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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