Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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