I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize