There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
