Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize