I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
