I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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