He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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