youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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