i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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